Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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