She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
