is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
