Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
