I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
