seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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