All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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