Tell her she can't have a vagina
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
