I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
should my penis look like a turkey
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
