He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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