i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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