You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
