I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
