And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
zippers are such a cool invention
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
