Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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