I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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