? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
