she kept yelling 'call me bella'
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
