mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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