You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
