We named our party play list daddy issues
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
