Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
