you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
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he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
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WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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