If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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