No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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