My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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