I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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