his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
