No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
