3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
