Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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