Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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