I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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