where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
