My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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