OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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