so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
