FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize