eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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