btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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