I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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