I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
