No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
