what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
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Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
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It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex