i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
