if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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