What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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