and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
