so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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