She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
are you so shy because you have an std?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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