No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
