our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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