I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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