Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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