I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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