"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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