i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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