quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
