If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize