Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
home. puking in laundry basket.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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