in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
