Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
