everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
A bitchslap is in order.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
