sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
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Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
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She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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