talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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