Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
