I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
