In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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